Daughter - Youth

Daughter- Youth Shadows settle on the place, that you left. Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time. From the perfect start to the finish line. And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs. Setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong The lovers that went wrong. We are the reckless, We are the wild youth Chasing visions of our futures One day we'll reveal the truth That one will die before he gets there. And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone. We're setting fire to our insides for fun. Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home, It was a flood that wrecked this... ... and you caused it... ... and you caused it... ... and you caused it... Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silouhette, A lifeless face that you'll soon forget, My eyes ae damp from the words you left, Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest. Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest. And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one, 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun, To distract our hearts from ever missing them. But I'm forever missing him. And you caused it, And you caused it, And you caused it

you hurt me

i dont understand why i am still angry. i dont know if i am more hurt that the fact that you walked away or the reasons why you walked away... i thought you were a good guy.. i thought that the more i loved you the more you would love me.. i was wrong. mabye i am angry at myself for believing you loved me.. i honestly saw myself walking down the isle with you.. i dreamed nothing else. for the first time i truly can say i opened myself up to someone.. i gave you all of me.. every part that i had been hiding for so long.. i dont hate you... if fact i still very much love you.. but i shouldnt.. and i know that i should be moving on with my life.. but what you did was wrong.. and i thought that you were better person then that.. why do i still care.. why do i still love you.

Without a Heartbeat......

I always thought that where you where was where I wanted to be. That it was where I was suppose to be. God had finally given me an out in life. Something to take the years and layers of my pain away....

You dont want to hurt me you say. But you are unaware that your constantly tearing me apart. I do not know the person I am since we have been together. A peice of my mind snapped and I cannot control the insecurities and meaness that flow out. I cannot learn to trust. How can you sleep knowing I am up thinking. That I am up crying.

You made your mistakes. You have tried to make up for it. I cannot forget. I cannot forgive. My mind takes me to places I cannot even understand.

Did you ever Love me? I bet you did. With great love. Great excitment. Now we both try every day for me to be happy. I cannot forgive I cannot let go and you try and still make foolish mistakes. Why cant I be happy. Why cant I trust that you will never hurt me again. Why cant you stop doing dumb things. Why cant you bring some type of ease to my heart.

Why cant this work.

I have thought long and hard if I really am able to do this. But I cannot go on being a crazy women. I cannot go on not trusting you. I cannot go on believing where going somewhere when were not. Why is it when we discuss something you still dont care. You know how insecure I am and you just shut off your phone like I'm a peice of garbage. You sleep knowing how hurt i am. My mind tells me your not alone. That your with someone. How else could you explain you just shutting off your phone like I am nothing. God how upset I am.

Love.. its my time to go. you know it.
I hate who I am. I hate the mistakes you make. I hate my meaness.

My hope is we can take our months, our year... and grow. alone.
I hope that we cannot live without eachothers touch. That I can learn to trust and you can learn to think. I hope that we can reunite and be wonderful. Like the first time we met. Will that happen most likely not but that is my dream. When both of us have grown both of us are ready for this.. come back to me.. find me at any cost. I cannot live without you.


The Snow started falling
My thoughts are of your face.
Will you ever take my mouth and kiss me.
I'm in love with you.
I'm without a heartbeat.

Mabye years will make us wiser.
Just think about me once.
On our day of love.
Think about my smile, my touch.
How i love you.

This hurt is tremendous.
The pain cannot be released.
Find me when your ready.
Let me trust in you.


babe.. im gunna go my way and your going to go yours.
Mabye i'll see ya around

Tell me something........

I thought I taught myself not to feel......

It came so suddenly, My world was safe and secure. I walked up the stairs and i found my sunshine...
The wilting flower became whole agian... craving that sunshine. Every part of it was new and terrifying.
Why did I fool myself to believe that Sunshine would be all i needed to forget, to grow. Something has damaged me and the truth is, I block my own sunshine.
Feeling makes you know that your alive, but why does it have such negativity attached to it. Its better just to be numb, that way you are guarded and protected.
Whats my reasoning behind my madness.. feeling.
I crave that sunshine. Being so dependant on something is a downfall. All you have is yourself in the end and lately being myself requires that sunshine. I have grown so dependant on it. I remembered what it was like to laugh to love to feel for the first time in many years. being a zombie in a life that takes over your soul, living just for the sake of living... loving to to feel loved. beaten and bruised to the point where there just arnt any more things to cry about. I escaped that and found my protection. But why is it that i feel more alone then i ever have before? dependancy.....

You think this is just another one of my panic attacks...... i have thought long and hard about this. Its better for the flower and the sunshine. Sunshine has taught the flower to live to love and to feel. The flower has taught the sunshine how scared somone can be... and how much it can destroy everypart of you.

I lied when i said that i would not hate everytime it rains. because when it rains... the diamonds pour down and i see that night on the pourch. The one feeling i will not be able to block and destroy.... its imprinted on my mind. forever. no matter how hard i try to get rit of it. it will be with me until the end.

Dont think that love had nothing to do with it. it had everything to do with it.
The flower does not deserve its sunlight. One day...... the flower will begin to understand that hearts are better left alone. You can warn them but they both get suckered in. feeling what had never been experienced.

I will put your things away. I will not look at them. I will run.... I will not laugh at the childlike sunshine that i once adored. You were my everything.
You may not understand now... but i did you a favour. One day you will be in the same spot as the flower. you will look up and you will see your sunshine. Everything you have ever wanted wrapped up in one smile.

everytime you see a sunrise, do yourself a favour... dont sit down.

When you recieve a surprise that someone is staying.... walk away.

When someone tells you that they love you..... run as far as you can.

when someone kisses your neck........ dont let them no.

When someone looks at you the way i looked at you..... make sure their not flowers..

and most of all when someone tries to steal a hot dog...... dont pay......


Its my time to go..... nothing will ever change what the sunlight has shown me and made me experience... that wont be toped.

" I will think about you all the time..... but I dont need the same"


I love you... always......

what am i scared of?

Is it love itself or loosing love?
If only i learn to talk before things explode into something terrible.
I am so tired but i cannot sleep.
sometimes its like my words go right threw you. You hear me but you dont listen.
I try to read you and the pages are all blank. My heart hurts.
It hurts me as much as it hurts you.

Death..... It comes at you so quick. So unexpected.
What if there was more that you needed to tell somebody. And you never got the chance to do so. What would you tell somebody if you knew that was the last words you were ever going to speak again? That question runs through my mind......

What more could i of done. How do you recover from seeing a human suffer and its out of your control. If i had been more awake.. would that of changed what happend? I looked him dead in the face as he died. I held him and watched as the life was sucked out of him. The screaming the tears. I am so sorry.

Its all in the job. .thats what i signed up for. I signed up to be a hero. Instead life slipped away from me. Eventually i hope i become numb. its to much to feel .

I am so sorry....

M&M i love you and i miss you. best of luck tonight. it was great talking to you. i really miss that